That unfamiliar taste in my mouth is...humility?

I've been doing Kung Fu for a few years now, and while I'm not going to give Bruce Lee a run for his money, I've definitely picked up some skills.

Our system has 6 levels: Basic, White, Blue, Green, Brown, and Black. I've been a blue sash for longer than I can remember, in large part because my last big hurdle to moving into green sash (the sparring test) is given once per month at most. Given that Kung Fu was probably my least favorite sport, I found lots of reasons to miss classes, which meant that I... well, no excuses, let's just say I've been a blue sash for a long time, and it's entirely my own doing. It's almost embarrassing how long I've been sitting at blue sash, to be honest.

Anyhow, after blowing out my ankle, I decided I'd get serious about my Kung Fu again, so I started attending classes regularly, and set myself a goal to finally get my green sash. I knew that they'd be giving the sparring test this past weekend, so I tore myself away from my customary "sit on my ass and play Warcraft" weekend morning ritual, and went to class.

Sparring is actually my favorite part of Kung Fu, as it is one of the few times we can really put everything together (offense, defense, punches, kicks, movement) and see how it holds up. The sparring test basically consists of putting on sparring gear, then spending a couple of minutes going up against various opponents - in my case, a brown sash, a green sash, and a fellow blue sash. At this level, they aren't looking for you to do anything spectacular - just stay low, have a strong base, keep good form and distance, get your punches and blocks out there, and that's about it.

My friends, I don't have to tell you how ready I was for this test. I'd been looking forward to it for the entire month, I'd been training for years, and I knew I was going to pass. I felt great, and was totally pumped when I stepped into the circle.

And, naturally, I failed the test.

I won't go into the details of why, as they are fairly esoteric. But what surprised me most of all was how much it hurt. Not physically (I really never even got touched), but emotionally - I couldn't believe how disappointed I was. I was so goddamn sure that I was going to pass, that I was mortified to find out that there's this gap between how I perceive myself as a martial artist, and reality. I guess I need to train harder.

I'd heard about this humility thing, but didn't really have much experience with it until now. It kinda sucks, to be honest.