I have had it with these mutherf--g babies on this mutherf--g plane!

So, we took a flight to Chicago for my granny's 90th birthday. Travelling with a 13-month-old was about what you might expect:

The outgoing flight was relatively painless, since we had to wakeup at 5AM and the boy sacked out pretty early and slept through the flight.

The return flight, however, was less fun, and was punctuated by Blake grabbing a fistful of hair from the lady sitting in front of us and refusing to let go, followed by him laughing maniacally and grabbing my Darling Wife's hair while she yelled at him in German.

Luckily Mario came to the rescue, and the boy sat in my lap and quietly watched me play Mario Kart DS for 20 minutes until he fell asleep. Yay, better living through Video Games!

I've promised her that the next time we travel, I'll book a separate seat for Blake, but it's kind of a moot point as there's no way I'm getting on a plane with him again until he's 3.

Angry Garden

everyday terror
soaked up
like a seed in an angry garden
until the fear is indistinguishable
from the plant
is the plant

a lifetime of washing
can't remove the welts
and a lifetime of heartfelt apologies
can't put the plant
back in the seed
to grow again

and who would want to, anyway?

so we put on the gloves
and once more
turn to tend our own garden
and hope
that the mistakes we make
are our own